Neon Golden

“A connoisseur of highs. That’s what I am calling myself.”

Ahel spoke like that.

She was a riddle herself. She liked her walks. A scarf carefully selected, moody jeans, a shirt and her older brother’s ass-kickers. She had grown into them. Probably from all the walks she did. If the sun was out, so was she. It was the summer and school was out. She liked the vacation as much her students did. Her modest kindergarten teacher’s salary meant that her travels were mostly to the cliffs or the forests nearby.

Mostly she would be gracious and impudent and charming. Always kind and patient with her kids. She still had a bit of growing up to do, she felt sometimes. In the meantime, she was happy to teach. And she had her walks. She didn’t like talking about her family much. Daman was as far as she could get. The booze was cheap. And she had shit to figure out.

“Oh c’mon! You can’t handle two drinks. And you have never even smoked a cigarette. Let alone anything else.”

Lena smirked.

She was new to the school. The second child was now three and she wanted to get back into teaching. Had always liked it. And spending entire days with the in-laws had gotten really old. And while she had first thought that coming to work and to more kids would be too much, she found that she still liked teaching kids. It was challenging and she figured it was good practice for her own kids as well. Rael agreed, bless him and had started pitching in too, like she never thought he would.

“You know I am saving myself.” Ahel started sniggering.

They were sitting in her couch. Lena came over most days in the afternoon. It was a habit they had gotten into. The in-laws were all too glad to have their precious grandchildren to themselves.

The tea was done.

Ahel brought out her tanpura. She had nearly broken her neck bringing it here, on buses and trains and nearly a mile on her back. It was the one thing that remained with her and the one thing she hadn’t been able to leave behind. And on certain nights, it still carried a faint smell of the almond oil that her mother used.

“Pahadi?”

Lena nodded, already closing her eyes, a half-smile.

“That would be appropriate I guess.”
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I had read about the Bechdel test. I think the story should serve its own purpose (and the author’s, naturally). I think awareness is good and it is essential as it probably shapes discussion around things that, well, need discussing. But all the same, all works have an agenda of their own and that shouldn’t have to be subsumed into external narratives and rules. If societal rules require that creative works need to conform to certain norms, then doesn’t it defeat the notion of creativity itself? But hey, here’s a story, for whatever its worth.

Another day nearly done. The summer days seem to tick faster. Me getting a little busier at work. What a surprise. I sometimes wonder about the purpose of it all. Choosing responsibilities when it’s not any choice at all. But that’s kind of paralyzing. And I think we are all agreed that actions are the way to go. Silent protests and dignified withdrawals don’t really work. So, might as well get into the shit, play your part, collect the cheque, fail the family, lose your mind. And that’s why I am here, around midnight, earbuds on, lights turned low, staring at a screen, willing the words to come.

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Couple of sappy songs with catchy tunes now (and now that the playlist exists, remind me to put them there as well).

1.    Notwist – Consequence. Because of the album name, obviously and because I think the lyrics are interesting (there are quantum mechanical references here too, no?).

2.    The Cinematic Orchestra - To Build a Home. Well I did tell you that I am in the mood for sappy songs today. And if you have read the things around here, you know that being sentimental is something I do all too well.

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I watched the Ghost in the Shell movies (the animes) and I was surprised to see how much the Matrix trilogy was influenced by it. A little innocence lost perhaps (I watched the first one, wide-eyed, in school) but then a little more appreciation gained. Checks and balances. Listen to the intro to the first movie (Kenji Kawai – Making of Cyborg). We are all tribal and Batõ is damn cool (I just realized they even lifted Morpheus’ glasses! Really?!!). Watch the movies if you can. I don’t know if I want to watch the new live action film now.

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The French elections are underway. And the Delhi elections. And the IPL. Guess which one I care the most about?